Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
