i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
