i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
tell me about the eggs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
