I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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