I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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