I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
