That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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