from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
