What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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