sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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