In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
