I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
