Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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