The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
