goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
