She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
how drunk are you?
Several
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
