just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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