dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
