there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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