reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
