That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
