Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
