I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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