at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
