I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night