All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
