Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?

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(646): If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways? http://tfl.nu/v2q3

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(417): View more from Missouri

He has such a weird drunk-voice.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

dude, he's deaf.

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(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice. (1-417): dude, he's deaf. http://tfl.nu/4u2p

Replies (23) Good night (701) Bad night (1401) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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(419): Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside http://tfl.nu/uown

Replies (48) Good night (604) Bad night (7450) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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(949): Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick" http://tfl.nu/m9ln

Replies (22) Good night (3703) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.

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(843): I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower. http://tfl.nu/3pc6

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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(479): Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs. http://tfl.nu/zkx1

Replies (13) Good night (2782) Bad night (2049)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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(609): I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from. http://tfl.nu/yx57

Replies (11) Good night (2630) Bad night (707)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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(717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.

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(321): Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip. http://tfl.nu/0cyl

Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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(215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu

Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.

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(407): don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens. http://tfl.nu/cd1z

Replies (8) Good night (1711) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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(314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.

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(612): So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision. http://tfl.nu/oggj

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(269): View more from Michigan

I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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(269): I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t9iz

Replies (2) Good night (211) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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(919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev

Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (89) Order T-Shirt

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