shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
