i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
