dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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