The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
