Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
