nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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