His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
