I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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