We won't sleep together?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I believe in your delicious
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
