I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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