I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We need to get me chipped asap
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
