I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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