i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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