if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
