Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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