its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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