I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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