Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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