What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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