THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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