it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
please don't ironically join a cult
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