i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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