im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
