I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
