i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
