Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
