I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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