so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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