How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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