She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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