i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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