The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
