I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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