you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
