? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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