your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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