Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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