I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize